This was written on Friday, June 27th after my last day of work in Toronto...
I`m sitting in Pearson Airport waiting for my flight to Montreal. I have a heavy heart and tears are just beneath the surface. They will come out eventually, I suppose- a good, long, and hard cry never hurt anybody. Today was the last day for me at WillowWood. I`ve been waiting for this day for a long time and I don`t think that I realized how a few people that I am leaving behind would affect me. It saddens me to think that I won`t see them everyday. No more music, bickering, laughter...considering I thought that I would be able to leave; wipe my hands clean; close another chapter of my Book of Life. Four years have come and goneand still, I am alone on my journey.
Maybe this is why I am sad. Starting over -reinventing myself- has always comeeasy for me; my way of life; my coping mechanism. This is perhaps my main barrier and the reason why I rarely let anyone in or to get close.
People often ask me why I feel the need to keep moving and my glib reply is always ``I`m a nomad`` or ``I`ve got a wandering soul``. Is this indeed fact or fiction´...I`m not even sure myself anymore.
I think I started this journey running away from something (or someone), although I think I have lost sight of the specifics over the years. Can I possibly change my mentality and run towards something instead...is there anything worth running towards...am I even willing to change my ways... The answer: Not too sure...
One thing is certain:my new adventure is promising tobe an interesting and fruitful one.
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4 comments:
Hey Keile. I'm glad you've started a blog- I'm looking forward to hearing all about your experiences teaching, researching, and meeting new people. Enjoy the orientation session. I'll see you when you get back to Toronto.
Certainly, I see that the moments spent at school have been wonderous in many ways. Let go of the politicing and the small stuff that matters not, and look truly at all the bright spots that had entered into your life over the last four years. I, for one, (lol). But in retrospect, you have had the opportunity to meet so many people that have made a difference in your life. The Q-F's, the P-B's, the parents who took you under their wing and the kids you took under yours. The people who brought you new ideas, and places to sing; to be you. It doesn't matter if you've met the right person to be with for the rest of your life , here in the big smoke. You will have many more opportunities for that in the times to come. And the running away business? Well look at all the things that your running toward. Quiet time, study time, a Master's degree (turning into a PHD?), a new challenge (even though it's not the Arctic), helpiing those who need a new start in life, and peace. Less stress, more peace. Bright side to all. Hope to here from you when you return from Montreal.
All right I'm going to try this Blogging stuff again...if Jessica and Kane can figure out how it works surely I can....
Sadly my last comments have gone off into cyber space.
They were pretty good if I do say so myself.
To bad I can't remember what they were...short term memory issues.
The jist of what I wrote was...
This life is in part about caring, change, opportunities and options. Keile you have embraced life and many of us are living vicariously through you.
I don't think of you as a Nomad...more a Troubadour, one who brings life to everyone she meets, at each stop she makes.
This is going to be a great blog site to watch...a little philospohy, a touch of humour, photos (can we post photos...help Jess!)and a celebration of a community which is KEILE.
I leave you with a quote from my favourite philosopher Groucho M.
" Those are my principles and if you don't like them I have others."
Speak to you soon.
Bob
You are all good people. Thank you.
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